Let’s face it, the time to make life-altering decisions is not after 3 glasses of champagne, which were used to wash down 8 cocktails; however, that’s the first thing we do at midnight on every December 31st. Well, ok, maybe the second thing. The first thing we do is plant a big, sloppy kiss on the gorgeous guy standing next to us and then pretend we mistook them for our husband, or maybe that’s just me.
In any event, after the ball drops and the last bit of confetti hits the floor, for some insane reason, we find it necessary to ensure that we have a basis to feel like failures in the upcoming year.
Some New Year’s resolutions that I have used for this purpose include:
I resolve to get back into a size 6. My favorite because it can be modified before becoming a total bust; for example in February it will be a size 8, April a 10, and by June it is adjusted to: “I resolve to get back into the jeans I took off last night.
I resolve to get organized. This resolution lasted about 5 minutes since I wrote it on a cocktail napkin and then lost it in my purse along with my keys.
I resolve to spend less and stick to a budget. This one lasted a full month, until I got my credit card bill which listed charges for Quicken Delux ($59.99), three books on managing money from Barnes and Noble ($76.99), and a subscription to Budget Living Magazine ($24.95).
I resolve to find my soul mate. I really thought I had a shot at this one; until my husband saw my picture on eHarmony and remarked: “You do realize that’s Angelina Jolie, right?”
This year, I refuse to set myself up by making any lofty resolutions that I have no chance of attaining. In 2010, I will commit myself to lifestyle changes that are not only obtainable, but will also make a difference to my family, friends, and the world around me.
So in this mindset, I have decided that in the coming year I promise to:
Become more health conscious: I will drive by no less than two McDonald’s for every one I pull into.
Be more socially aware by spending time with underprivileged and neglected children – specifically my own.
Act more my age by not using the term OMG unless I am actually texting.
Become more environmentally responsible by not hiding peanut butter jars in the trash because I am too lazy to wash them out for recycling.
And finally, be more available to my family by giving them an existing email address.